I don't know what to say... Hmm...

I'm just rambling here, so whatever. Yeah, and like someone would read this lol.

I haven't checked this blog for a while, because of a job in real life.
I know, I'm not even done with mamenoi song translations. I hope I can get them done at least this year.

And, before I noticed it, somehow I received claps on each posts. Well, it's still just a small number, but I am really grateful of it. Thank you, whoever you are.

I also noticed the flag counter over there (yeah, the one in the left).
Sure I have a little number of visitors (lol).
I noticed that the residents of US (whoever you are) have been visiting me. Back then, the number of visitors from Indonesia (my home country) is way more than the rest of the world. And I think it's actually just me who have nothing to do but to visit own blog lol.

I also noticed how popular the lyrics posts compared to my drawings.
Well, irony, I must say. I know my drawings aren't that good, but actually that's what I do for living.
The translations I have done was all started because I was so bored and had nothing to do. Apparently it became a hobby and I kept translating songs even until now.
My youtube channel is more popular than my deviantart or pixiv (actually I find that really sad)

I know I am not a good artist. I am also not that fluent in Japanese. I learned Japanese for around 4 or 5 years, and I was done 4 years ago. Basically, I already forgot most of what I learned back then. And my English is so awful. I am really bad at grammar and such, but my brother always encourages me, telling me that it is fine as long my conversation partner understands. (Well, bro, it is not fine at all!)

Some people told me that I am multitalented. I must say that it is definitely not the case. I can do simple programming, but never be good at it. I like to draw, but never be really good at it. I can make flash animations and games, but never be good at it. I understand a little Japanese and English, but it wont reach perfection. I like to make cute plushies but I already stopped at one point. I like to cook, but never gonna be a chef.
You can say that it is kinda like, learning every possible skills but never master them. That is me.

Anyway, I just want to thank you all, whoever you are. The people in my youtube channel, the people who reads this blog, I dont know you guys, but you guys are one of the reason I want to keep on living. Thank you for keeping me alive.

I actually kinda feel like I have no reason to live. Life is so boring, I think.
I have favorite shows in TV, but those alone cant keep my spirit on. I am just living, flowing along whatever the fate brings me to.
I can even get bored in drawings, something I've been fixated with since my early childhood.
I stopped listening to music. Back then, I was pretty passionate to listen to new musics, even if it is just a silly BGM from my favorite cartoon. Now I dont even have my own playlist.
Anime, manga, cartoon, and such are pretty boring nowadays. Maybe it is just me, because I really have little passion on them right now.

So, actually the only ones that can keep me alive, is probably the translation request in my youtube channel. The requests are pretty low in number now (and I restrained myself as well, because of the goddamn real life job) but doing translation each song each week is pretty fun, and it became a routine I can hardly wait to do every week.

I also can keep in contact with an awesome person who helps me to hardsub things.
By his requests, I actually could find some good songs, and that alone kept my living spirit on.

Humm, well, it looks like a letter of apology of some sort. I actually like to write things like this once in a while, in case if I die so suddenly (lol).

Okay, actually I will go on a trip for an indefinite time. I am just too paranoid over it (lol) so I write this hahaha.

But really, thank you whoever you are, who are currently reading this.
We siblings really are grateful of you guys.
Thank you for keeping us alive.