Official Another Story Rewrite - Chapter 6 : In the Spare Time Between Transcendental Thoughts

This time I translated the sixth chapter of Official Another Story Rewrite ~Hayure Sasayaku Komichi de~ This chapter focuses on Kagari in her process to find the right answer. hilarity ensues This chapter basically makes fun of the routes in the original VN, and thus, it is full of spoilers.
HeliosAlpha helped me a lot in proofreading and correcting my translation in this chapter (and a lot of them really, really needed correction and feedback). I guess "help" is an understatement. This chapter translation project is more a joint effort for us. Thank you so much HeliosAlpha for your contribution!

Official Another Story Rewrite : Chapter 6
In the Spare Time Between Transcendental Thoughts
06 - cover - Kagari
Word count roughly 2490 words.

In a place that couldn't be described except that it had a certain rule, that hill was there.
It was nowhere. It was nowhen. That place could only be perceived as "The Moon".
It was a space that could only be expressed as "X is X and Y is Y" in the coordinate system.
And Kagari was there, continuing her usual trial and error.
Trial and error might sound like experimentation, but it was more of an observation.
Yet, each time Kagari performed the observation, the potential branch would come to realization.... Then the world would appear as if it was created for the very first time.
To achieve her purpose, she would heavily rely on humanity, as the race which would breed and prosper in the potential branches.
It was derivable up to that point.
There was no need to observe a world that could not maintain the life of humanity or any existence equal to it.
It would appear as if she could narrow down the targets like that, but it would be pretty much meaningless if it was only one hundredth— No, one thousandth out of the infinite matrices.
What she needed was a single definite answer.
For that objective, she had to know everything.
She would go through myriads of universes.
Among those worlds, in which mankind successfully prospered, she found a single common thing.
They were always so endlessly illogical.
They were like a full circle, yet hollow.
That was her impression.

Kagari had learned illogicality.
However, it was not enough.
That said, it was unmistakably a beginning.
Kagari thought further.
And she realized.
(Kagari-chan is quite tired.)
Of course it was an unacceptable reason to stop her hands.
But when she thought back, numerous extensive histories had passed in her subjective time.
She thought it would be fine if it was only for a short while.
It would just take a microsecond, no... nanosecond, or even just a picosecond.
Kagari who had learned about illogicality decided to take a breather for once.

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

Inside a forest.
One familiar charged into a trap.
There was the young man—the protector of the druid—and that familiar.
And there were the soldiers of Guardian hunting them.
That was the situation.
"...Eh? What... the hell..."
Then the familiar sprung the trap.
Its body was pierced by the trap set up by the soldier of Guardian.
It was a fatal wound.
Then one of the Guardian soldiers, a dude with purple hue, and the somewhat-hunky protector of the druid had a jumbled conversation, but that was not important.
"Didn't they tell you in school? Hostages are treated the same as terrorists. You know, I thought you had some potential."
"Thanks, I guess...."
"...I don't know what drove you to do this.... Aaah, this sucks. I don't wanna do this."
Then, a loud voice rang out.
"Stop right there, you scoundrel! Hyaaaah!"
A single figure appeared, whizzing and spinning gracefully through the sky (as she ignored the laws of physics).
"In the name of love! Third Planet from the Magic - Creamy☆Kagarin[1]! Here I am—"
She spun around and around again.
"At your☆service!" (signature pose)
"....The hell is this, Tennouji? Is this one of your fellows?"
"Huh? No.... I don't know her... I think..."
"Fear not, for I have come! I will resolve everything in an instant with miraculous☆magic!"
Kagari herself had a direct relation to the Moon, and she was about to say a catchphrase like "Something something I will punish you!" but she stopped because that probably would cause various problems ahead.[2]
"Imamiya-san, she's the Key! I think..."
The Guardian soldier standing by next to Imamiya whispered to him hesitantly.
"But I can see her, though.... Oh well, this is our chance! Get her!"
"I won't lose! Kagari-chan Miracle Ribbon!"
Boom! Suddenly there was an explosion.
"Here goes! Kagari-chan Miracle Psychological Metamorphooooose!"
Softly and swiftly, a bizarre glittering light enveloped all the soldiers of Guardian.
"....What am I doing here, again...?"
Imamiya looked around with a stupid look on his face.
"I- Imamiya-san?"
The protector of the druid timidly asked the purple hue guy.
"I am the purified Imami~!"
The purple hue guy answered with a smile full of pure goodwill.
"I see! I was wrong, Tennouji! Come on everyone! Let's do our best for this planet!"
The Guardian soldiers left with refreshing smiles.
"...The hell was that?"
The protector of the druid was dumbfounded.
Twinkle-tink! (signature pose)
"I... I don't understand what just happened, but thank you anyway... Umm, Creamy... Kagarin?"
"No, no. Kagari-chan only did what she must."
"Oh, right! What about Chibimoth!?"
"He's completely fine!?"
"To tell you the truth, I stopped the projectile with my ribbon just right before it would stab him."
"Ah, that so! Ahaha! Stop licking my face! Stop it, Chibimoth!"
Right there, a lone girl approached from the depth of the forest.
"Oh, Kotori!"
"Huh, this person... The Key? Although she looks much flashier than I remember..."
"No, I'm Creamy☆Kagarin."
"That so?"
"Oh, maiden of the druids! I am sure you are full of worries, but this young man over here is not your familiar just because he's filled with aurora!"
"Suddenly she just spat out such a wonderful truth right away!?"
On the shoulders of the girl who just received a shocking revelation, her protector's hands softly rested.
"Kotori... Let's get married!"
"Kotarou-kun... Sure! I love you!"
"Thank you, CreamyKagarin!"

Ding! Dong!
(wedding bell)

...Then Kagari fought a mysterious elderly gentleman with a monocle while performing her duties for four cours[3], and thus restored the world to peace.

~ Third Planet from the Magic : Creamy☆Kagarin - Fin ~

After about twenty hours for one season, Kagari's consciousness went back to the Moon, and she grinned slightly.
(...I guess I'll play around for some more.)
It was like the daydream of a middle school student during an exam, but for Kagari it was a short period full of refined relaxation.

"I won't let you interfere.... The world should be destroyed, so I'll make sure it is.... We are all destined to be destroyed anyway... from the moment we begin life."
"Destined? ..."Destiny" is just an excuse! No one knows what the future will be until it happens! There's not a single thing in this world that anyone "has" to do! That way of thinking is wrong!!"
"What are you now? A lost child playing with delusions, unable to see the true form of the world. You should be nothing more than a roadside corpse...!!"
"Moon Miracle Power! Terrafooormiiiiing!"
Followed by a 30 second flashy transformation scene.
"Love will save the Earth! Third Planet from the Magic - Creamy☆Kagarin! Here I am—"
She spun around and around.
"At your☆service!" (signature pose)
Her pose was a little bit different from the first season.
"Wh- what?"
"Fear not, for I have come! I will resolve everything in an instant with miraculous☆magic!"
"...I'm not sure what's not to fear though..."
"Hey, hunk over there! I'm sure you're worried about your physical limit, but those two will resolve it with the power spot later, so you're gonna be fine!"
"Huh!? "Those two" being us!?"
"Oh, is- is that so...?"
The hunk and those two talking familiars drew away.
"Urgh... What are you even babbling about... Krivoy Rog! Kilimanjaro! Finish them!"
As the holy woman of Gaia commanded, the two gigantic familiars attacked Kagari at once.
"Justice will prevail! Super Kagari-chan Miracle Ribbon!"
After a display of fluttering ribbons, the familiars rang out their final death scream horrendously and exploded in an overly dramatic sequence.
"H- how this can be..."
"Here goes! Super Kagari-chan Miracle Psychological Metamorphooooose!"
Woosh woosh woosh woosh.
A ray of light wrapped around the holy woman of Gaia.
"A... Akane-san?"
"...I am the purified Akane! Alright! Forget about Gaia and let's make tons of wonderful friends!"
"Akane-san has been purified!"
"Thank you, CreamyKagarin!"

Twinkle-tink! (signature pose)

...Then Kagari fought the destroyers of nature or whatever, and she also fought the hunk who went berserk while performing her duties for four cours, and thus restored the world to peace.

~ Third Planet from the Magic : Creamy☆Kagarin S - Fin ~

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

The second season had mixed reviews, but overall it was satisfactory. She felt that it was fairly promising as a show.
(Even if I say so myself, there's nothing but praises for Kagari-chan's natural talent...)
She ended up continuing as she grinned from ear to ear.

Inside a dark laboratory, a woman—seemingly a scientist— was typing on a system console.
"Huhuhu... Now I can resume the project...! A new era will come upon us...!"
"Kagari-chan Lunatic Psychological Metamorphooooose!"
The whole ordeal seemed so complicated and fussy, so Kagari just used her finishing blow without any delay.
"I... I am the purified Brenda! Aaah...! What horrible things have I done!?"
"Huh!? That alone doesn't resolve the problem!?"
Kagari then flew to Kazamatsuri City.
And she headed to the most crowded spot in the town, which was the grand shopping mall, KAZAMO.
She had to go through crowds which she'd never get used to, but her two main targets were found in an instant.
It looked like they were flirting with each other, but the male looked rather half-cooked.
That man in this universe was definitely dense.
"This is the time for Kagari-chan Lunatic Bloodless Revolution."
Compared to her usual ribbon, a different colored ribbon appeared swirling and transformed into something like a placard.
Kagari had set up a magical field so that only the man could see it.
On the placard was written "READ THIS!" with two unrelated pictures of an insect and rock tunnel.
"...huh? What's that? A bug and a tunnel?"
"What is it, Kotarou?"
The girl couldn't see the placard, so she was suspicious about his odd behavior.
"Bee... cave?"
[Pay attention to the minerals in the cave!]
"Bee... Be mine!"[4]
"H-huh!? Wh- what are you saying at this place, so suddenly!?"

(Kagari-chan must give them another push.)

Kagari put up another placard.
On the placard was a picture of island, and another of a specific tree.
"Island... what? Hmm... What is that... tree?"
[Hint: The tree is known as yew.]
"So, Island of Yew?"
[Now shorten the first word!]
"Isle of Yew!"[5]
"Wha, whawha... What are you saying all of sudden! "I love you"!? W- well, of course I love you too..."
"Huh...? I don't know why it turned out like this, but... We have no other choice but to get married!"
"Good! Now for Kagari-chan Lunatic Gd-Mood Dimensiooooon!"
Without the two noticing, Kagari created a pink atmosphere that makes couples' eyes sparkle, like something you'd see in an anime.
"Aaah... I can feel your love, Kotarou...! Alright, let's get married!"

Ding! Dong! (wedding bell)

"Congratulations on your wedding!"
"Oh, by the way... Hey you! The girl with eyepatch over there! Your loved one will return to you in the end, so it's gonna be fine!"
"Oh, really."
"Thank you, CreamyKagarin!"

Twinkle-tink! (signature pose)

...After that, the rest of the episodes were mainly about episodic slice-of-life problems or the like, and that went on for four cours, and thus world peace was restored.

~ Third Planet from the Magic : Creamy☆Kagarin R - Fin ~

(The third season became more of a slice-of-life show. The various ribbon merchandise were also selling well. That direction was absolutely spot-on.)
"Everything is going just perfect!" As she was getting carried away, Kagari decided to continue for some more.

Inside a forest, there was a confrontation between a tattered man with huge build and that usual young man (despite his unusual looks).
"You bastard, stop fucking with me. Don't you dare play dumb."
The big man had pointed a gun to the young man. He could pull the trigger at any moment.
"Look ooooouuuuttt! Kagari-chan Kiiiick!"
Suddenly Kagari performed a weird flying kick.
"Huh!? What the—!?"
"I have come to your aid, helpless boy."
"Well, thanks... I guess."
"Y- You damned brat...!"
"Evil wretch begone! Kagari-chan Ultimate Psychological Metamorphooooose!"
Woosh woosh woosh woosh.
The special effects had turned considerably flashy.
"Hey there! I'm the purified Takasago! I'll be in your care from now on!"
"Oh, how glad I am that I can spread laughter with my gyoza ears! Oh, I just want everyone to be happy and all smiles! This world is so wonderful!"
"Even his facial expression has changed..."
Twinkle-tink! (signature pose)

Having been spared from death, the young man began to help a lot of people for a number of reasons.
Among those people, there was a delinquent classmate of his.
"There are too many injured people here... Huh?"
The front row of the crowd was in clamor.
"What's happening over there?"
"Go on, Tennouji. I'll be fine."
"No.... There's something weird going on."
The crowd started coming towards him. They were all fit, healthy and lively.
"What's happening now...?"
"Who knows...."
There was a man in the center of the crowd.
"Hey there! I'm your purified, lovely big brother Takasago!"
"He's strangely sweet!"
"Now I'm working to make everyone absolutely happyyy! After what happened in the forest, I went over to Guardian!"
"Takasago-san, you're so pure...!"
"You there! Aren't you injured? Luckily I found just the perfect helper on Guardian's side. Lemme introduce you to... Your super healthcare robot, Drug-kun!"[6]
Something like a tin toy robot came over.
"Drug-kun is a super robot that can heal you with just a single saury."
It was moving around like a robot, but it was clearly a cardboard costume.
"Nah, I'm pretty sure that's the voice of someone I know. Also her twintails are sticking out."
"Aight, now for your treatment!"
"Fwoosh!" The "robot" gushed out some kind of strange fog.
"The medicine tastes great!!"
"Whoa! I don't get it how, but I'm healed!"
"Thank you, dear big brother Takasago!"

"Gyooza! Gyooza! Gyooza!"

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

(This is getting out of hand for Kagari-chan...!)
Afterward, one thing after another befell that world, and Kazamatsuri City fell into ruin.
(I totally blew it with the personnel selection.... Now I don't have any way to wrap up the story. How regrettable...)
The curtain had fallen for her delusional show.
And she finally noticed how much time she had wasted for this.
The more irrational she became, the farther away she was getting from her purpose.
So Kagari decided to let go of her irrationality.
Then she faced the dendrogram once again.
There was no other way, she just had to read it tactlessly.
And then she would derive the results, and just that.
The Key kept working for an answer.
And it would be only a little while until someone who could solve it would appear.

[Sixth Chapter - End]

Translation notes:

Just in case you don't catch the reference, Creamy☆Kagarin is referencing to old school magical girl anime, Creamy Mami. But the word Creamy is written quite differently in Japanese though (Mami's Creamy is written as クリィミー while Kagarin's Creamy is written as クリーミィ, so it's not copyright infringement, I tell ya.)

The full title 魔法の第三惑精・クリーミィ☆かがりん (Mahou no Dai-san Wakusei Creamy☆Kagarin) actually contains some puns, since the word wakusei which is usally written as in 惑星 (planet), being written as 惑精 (the first kanji is same as in the kanji for planet, but the 惑 itself means "beguile", "delusion", "charm" etc. It is also the kanji for the verb 惑う (being puzzled or bewildered) or 惑わす (to puzzle or to bewilder or to delude or to seduce, etc) The latter kanji part 精 means spirit, or ghost, or fairy, or purity.) It's really hard to find an equal translation for this wordplay, so I decide to be lazy and borrow Amaterasu's translation for the title, which is "Third Planet from the Magic - Creamy☆Kagarin"

If I must, though, I'll probably translate it as "The Magical Charming Faerie of The Third Planet, Creamy☆Kagarin". The word "spirit" is more suitable for Kagari (I think), but "faerie" sounds more friendly, familiar and cute for a magical girl show.[^]

[2]I will punish you!
This line is referencing to Sailor Moon's famous catchphrase, "In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!" Kagarin did her best in avoiding copyright infringement![^]

[3]Cour in anime
For those unfamiliar with this term, one cour usually equals 13 episodes or a quarter (three month) of screen time in television. It can be shorter or longer (roughly 11 to 14 episodes). Four cours means that the series runs for one full year, and judging by the additional information (20 hours a season, one episode runs for 22 minutes, more or less) seems that Creamy☆Kagarin roughly has 52 episodes.[^]

Tell me again that wordplay is a fun hell to translate.
In the original Japanese, Kagarin placed a placard with a farming tool displayed. Kotarou initially guessed the farm tool as 鍬 (kuwa, a hoe) and Kagari told him to take a good look at its end (the metal or blade part), and Kotarou finally guessed the tool as 鋤 (suki, a spade), which is a homonym with the word 好き (suki, this time means, "I like you!" in romantic sense). Lucia, not knowing the exchange between Kotarou and Kagarin, just took it as Kotarou suddenly shouting a confession out of nowhere.[^]

This, too, is a wordplay. Much more complicated than the previous one, in fact.
In the original Japanese, Kagarin put another placard, this time written as 『目を英語で』 (The word 目 or EYE in English), then a picture of a square with finger pointed at it. Another word for square 四角 (shikaku) is 升 (masu)—although masu is more of a box than square. Kagarin then gave another clue, that the square is being pointed at (指差してます), and another word for that is 指定 (read as shitei). Those all combined resulted in EYE・指定マス which can be read as "AI shitei masu" or it sounds like 愛しています (aishiteimasu) which is basically "I LOVE YOU!"

Due to my limited ability to translate puns and wordplay, I was struggling to find the words that is similar to "I love you." And ended up using real lame pun of "Isle of Yew." which sounded like "I love you". By the way, Isle of Yew really does exist and it's quite a popular destination for couples, because of its name.[^]

In Japanese, Drug-kun is written as ドラッくん (DORAkkun) and it's probably a reference to Kyoto's Drug Abuse Prevention Mascot NOドラッくん (NO DORAkkun or No-Drugs-kun)
This is how No Drugs-kun looks like.[^]

Aside of all I mentioned above, there are some things I kinda want to point out but too lazy to explain, like how "Third Planet from the Magic - Creamy☆Kagarin" sequels name is kinda based on Sailor Moon anime sequel titles, like Sailor Moon R or Sailor Moon S. And how Takasago's scream ぶべらっ! when he was kicked by Kagarin for the first time is referencing to the unique onomatopoeia by Man Gatarou, a bizarro manga artist. Probably there are more references that I didn't quite catch, but it's pretty much useless trivia anyway.
Also, since the story contains dialogue from the original VN, I took Amaterasu's translation for the lines included in the VN.

Color codes for the characters in this chapter: (in order of appearance)